I suspect the pain of being alone is a universal human experience. And I suspect most people seek out relationships to avoid or soothe this pain.

Even in the best of relationships, there always comes a time when our friends,
family, and partners are not available and we are alone.

When you feel alone, what do you do?

If you seek out relationships or stay in relationships because you can’t deal with being alone, the time you are in fact alone can be unbearably painful.
And the time you are with someone will be bittersweet because you will know on
some level that you will be alone again soon.

One of the marks of maturing emotionally is learning to bear with and even thrive when alone. And your successful ability to be alone is what allows you to have the best relationships of your life.

 ..I pray for this to happen in God’s time..

You long to give yourself to someone to have a deep soul relationship to another.
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God says, “No, not until you are satisfied, fullfilled and content with being loved by Me alone…
With giving yourself totally unreserved to Me.
To have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction can be found.
Then you will be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with Me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing…one that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best.
Please allow me to bring it in to you, just expect the greatest things.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
Just wait, that’s all.
Don’t be anxious, don’t worry.
Don’t look around at the things that others have gotten or I have given them.
Don’t look at the things that you want.
Just keep looking off and away and up to Me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you with a love more wonderful that you would ever dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready.
(I am working even this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time)
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me And the life I have prepared for you,
You can’t experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me.
And is thus, the perfect love
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love in My time.
I want you to see, in the flesh, a picture of your relationship with Me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I LOVE YOU evenly.
BELIEVE it and be SATISFIED.

..masakit man isipin na tuluyan ka ng nawala sa buhay ko, pero tatanggapin ko..kakayanin ko…pra sa’kin at pra na rin sayo..manhid nko, oo…pero nadurog ang puso ko sa sakit nang malaman kong may mahal ka ng iba..hindi ko inaasahan na masasaktan pa pla ko ng gnito..na sa sobrang sakit, prang gusto ko nlng ipikit ang mga mata ko..ayoko ng dumilat..ayoko ng huminga..dahil sa paghinga ko, nraramdaman ko ang sakit dito sa puso ko..sna matapos na tong nraramdaman ko..sna tuluyan nlng akong maging manhid..wlang nraramdaman..wlang pakialam..

..alam kong nagkamali ako..at tanggap ko un..kung ano man ang nangyri satin, kagagawan ko un..nawala ka sakin, ako ang may ksalanan nun..at ngyong nagmahal ka ng iba, susubukan kong kayanin..at tanggapin…na wala ka na nga sakin..na hinding hindi ka na lilingon pa pra skin…na hndi mo na gugustuhin maging parte ng mundo ko..oo nga, may mga sarili na tayong mundo..mundo na hndi na natin kasama ang isat isa..mundo na wala ka na sa tabi ko..

..sana sa pag-alis ko, maiwanan kong lahat ang tungkol sayo…mawala lhat ng naramdaman ko..ang pagmamahal..ang sakit..at sana sa pagbabalik ko, maging buo na ulit ako..sana ako na ung Thea na magmamahal muli..at ung Thea na karapat-dapat ng mahalin..hndi man ng isang tulad mo..pero ng isang taong kukumpleto sa buhay ko..

..paalam sa’yo aking mahal….

i never stopped loving you… i just stopped showing it…

I can’t believe what i just heard
Could it be true
Are you the guy I thought I knew
The one who promised me his love
Where did it go
Does anybody ever know

How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never beat this much again
Oh no
I just can’t let go
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never love this much again
Oh no
Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to let you go

And were you ever what you seemed
Or was I a fool who fell in love
With her own dream
And now you say you want to leave
Start a new life today
Those words I thought you’d never say

Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I have finally found

A new life
In my soul
And find that I know how to let you go

..what i want to tell you is already here in the song.. thank you..though we’re not together anymore, your love for me will be treasured here in my heart for the rest of my life..

Thank you for teaching me how to love
Showing me what the world means
What I’ve been dreamin’ of
And now I know, there is nothing that I could not do
Thanks to YouFor teaching me how to feel
Showing me my emotions
Letting me know what’s real
From what is not
What I’ve got is more that I’d ever hoped for
And a lot of what I hope for is
Thanks to you

..i never expected myself to be in a situation I am in right now…. This is really a dream come true for me.. To pass the exam is really an achievement…To speak with James and Kurt was already an honor… To pass the final interview made me ask myself..”Do i deserve this kind of opportunity?? Is this real?? Well, yeah! I am going to the states! and it’s freaking the hell out of me…As in! I am so happy…Thank you Lord… I owe everything to You! ..Karmi, kita tayu jan…hintayin mo ko tol…dadalawin kita! hahaha…

..ang tagal nman ng Season 6 ng smallville at Season 3 ng Greys Anatomy!

..excited nko sa season premier ng 2 show na to…can’t wait to see what happened to Lana Lang and Chloe…pati nrin kay Meredith…im so excited na to watch the next season..mejo matagal tagal ko na ding hnde nagagamit ung dvd player ko..simula nung nagstart ung training nmen sa ofis eh wla na kong nagagawa sa bahay paguwi ko kundi magonline lng sndali tpos tulog na…prang walang kwenta ang araw ko pag 8am-5pm ang shift ko..normal nga xa kung sa normal pero prang d ako sanay na normal ang buhay ko…pagpasok sa umaga, traffic ang sasalubong sayo…paguwi mo nman traffic pa din…nkakainis! nkaka-stress…ngyon ko tuloy naappreciate ung 5:30AM shift ko..hehe…ung tipong gigising ka ng 4:15AM tpos maliligo sa madaling araw ng malamig na tubig…tpos magtataxi papuntang ofis kc delikado pa sa daan…mejo madilim pa kc…tpos uwian ng 2Pm (fave time of the day!) hehe..gala ever na un, kain kung saan saan o kya uwi ng bhay at manunuod ng dvd series…o kya online to sawa khit nagrerent lng ako..ayus! miss na miss ko na ang ganung buhay…d bale, nxt week balik na sa normal ang buhay ko…well, at least normal for me..

..isip kong litong lito…d ko malaman ang gagawin..

..noong isang taon, gnito ndin ang nraramdaman ko..ung feeling na lumulutang ka o “floating”…d mo alam kung san pupunta…kung anong mangyyri…naranasan ko na ito sa 2 aspeto ng buhay ko…sa pag-ibig at sa career..ngyon, hnde ko na alam kung san ako patungo…kung saan ang tamang direksyon ng buhay..ang alam ko lng, nandito ako ngyon..nagttrabaho pra mabuhay..pra mabili ang mga gusto kong bilhin..pero san nga ba papunta ang tinatahak kong daan?? masaya ba ako?? tama ba ang gnagwa ko?? HINDI ko alam…nalilito ako…litong lito…  

..i fell in love with this song.. everything i feel right now is in the lyrics…i need love..i need you..haaay…

I’d cross the desert to be where you are
All the things I’d do to be close to you
A million miles wouldn’t seem that far
I’d go anywhere just to win your heart.

But wherever this leads
There’s something I need.

I need love
The kind that makes you wanna live
The kind that makes you wanna breathe
The kind that makes you feel too much
And I need you
To help me find a better way
And I guess you never thought you’d hear me say
I need love
I need love

And when I see you I just lose my mind
You’re the everything I thought I’d never find
Must be an angel watching over me
With a little luck we’re gonna make you mine
‘Cause I wannna believe In all we can be

And oh, I will catch you when you fall

Be the greatest love of all
I promise to be
If you give me what I need, I need

I need love
I need you
The kind that makes you feel
The one that makes you wanna live
The one that makes you wanna breathe

And I need you
To help me find a better way
And I guess you never thought you’d hear me say
I need love
I need love
I need love, baby
I need love

I’d cross the desert
I’d cross the desert to be where you are

..no matter how many coins you throw into a fountain, or the number of crossfingers you do… if it isn’t meant to be, it simply won’t happen…